PILLOW TALK

During foreplay, I tend to loosen up quite a lot, so when it gets to sex my vagina is rather vocal. This can be quite distracting and make me feel less like a feminine being and more like a whoopee cushion. Is there anything I can do about this? Is there an etiquette for dealing with fanny farts?

 

 

I’m not going to lie to you: most men will be aware if your vagina makes noises during intercourse, but it usually won’t be enough to put someone off. It is caused by expulsion of gas from the dilated vagina by penetration, and all you can really do is avoid positions involving deep thrusting, such as doggy-style. If your partner withdraws fully repeatedly then this could also be a factor to consider.

 

 

I think that every woman empathises with your situation: we’ve all been there. Fanny farts are never fun for anyone, and the best thing that I can suggest is tightening up (like a Kegel squeeze)before penetration to remove as much air as possible. I find giggling is the best solution of all, so laugh it off and enjoy yourself. Any guy who is genuinely bothered clearly doesn’t deserve you.

 

 

It makes you feel less like a feminine being? If the only thing you think about during sex is the acoustics of your growler, then you’re clearly not embracing your femininity to the full anyway! Or else your current fuck clearly isn’t worth the lubricant you generate. Like a burp after dinner, a queaf is a compliment, so appreciate it as another thing we girlies can do that men can’t.