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In a group of girlfriends, there is always one lady who all the others turn to for relationship advice. In my little group, this lady is always me. I am by reputation something of a female Casanova, and have had countless boyfriends because I am, in fact, a serial dater. However, it is important to note that all of these relationships haD a very short expiry date because I am a ‘grass is always greener’ kind of girl (which, yes, means I have been known to cheat). Despite this, I have had some very successful, loving relationships, and I am one of those rare people that stay in touch with every single one of my exes (both male and female). I have had much experience and, as a consequence, I am more than willing to pass on my wisdom. Do you fancy someone and are too scared to tell them? Are you trying to work out how to split up with your boyfriend? Or are you truly sick of your girlfriend being jealous? If you want to ask me anything in terms of relationships then just shoot me an email and I will try my best to alleviate your agony!
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Dear Auntie Dote, I’m about 3 months into a relationship, and still madly in love. However, whenever I try to talk to her she pushes me away. She says I’m "clingy"! I think she’s afraid of the way she feels and I don’t know how she feels. From NewFresher, (18) Dear Clingy and Dull, I don’t want to make you feel worse than you already do, but you do seem pretty clingy. The words 3 months and still madly in love? You’re only a baby and this is not what we in the trade call a ‘long-term’ relationship. Your girlfriend is probably very loveable but if she says you’re clingy she’s looking for a way out. If you want to keep her, then ignore her for a week and be seen out in town with friends (with at least one female). However if you have any self-respect dump her, move on and find someone that really deserves your love, however insane you may be. Love, Auntie Dote
----------------------------------------------- Dear Auntie Dote, I am 6 months into a relationship and I am genuinely concerned that my b/f is cheating on me. He used to play around and I thought I had tamed his lusty nature. Now he’s hanging out with his old friend group which includes three of his old conquests. He goes clubbing without me and makes up crap excuses for not seeing me for several days. He also keeps getting mystery texts. Am I overreacting? Please help. From, WorriedGF (20) Dear Confused and Worried, Sometimes you really can’t teach an old dog new tricks and this is genuinely one of these times. You sound like a darling girl. This boy is immature and doesn’t realise how lucky he is. You’re avery (overly?) tolerant woman, and you could definitely do better. My advice to you is take a long hard look at yourself and remember all the reasons he was attracted to you in the first place, I can assure you someone else will see those things. Just walk away, he’s not worth your time and worry. As for overreacting I don’t think you are, his behaviour symbolises all the tale-tale signs of a cheater, in which case stay clear. Go out, have fun and find someone worth your time. Love, Auntie Dote -----------------------------------------------
Dear Auntie Dote It is the first year of my University course and my long term girlfriend is going to a different University up in Scotland she feels that we can stay together despite the long distance between us, but I am not sure that we can make it. I think the distance is going to be too far and the new people and new friendships that we shall make during the first term will cause us to drift apart and make us unhappy. I would prefer a simple clean break so we can both move on with the new Year. From, Worried Fresher (18)
Dear Cut and Run This is a common problem and worry with first years that are leaving home for the first time and moving away from friends. The distances can seem huge and long train journeys can seem intimidating. Long term girlfriends and boyfriends can find this transition difficult as the difficulty of holding the long distance relationship together gets worse as the year moves on and new friends are made and the workload increases. With committed relationships this can be difficult if the distance becomes too much and problems come about, it is especially hard to repair a destroyed relationship when you come home. However it is not a reason to quit. Many people find it easy to keep relationships going into Uni, some people maintain relationships across countries when they head of so it is not that hard. I really think that you should sit down and have a long talk with your girlfriend and if you really think that you can not maintain your relationship then make a clean break. However if you are willing to make the extra effort you should give it a go. None of the problems are really huge, and to throw away you relationship over them should not be done quickly. Love, Auntie Dote -----------------------------------------------
Dear Auntie Dote, I’m a first year and, well, gay. I’m out to my parents and everything, but I find it hard to work out when to tell everyone else. I have a boyfriend, and he keeps getting annoyed that I haven’t told everyone about him. Help! From, Anxious (19)
Dear In The Closet, Firstly, coming out is a really personal experience. You shouldn’t feel pressured to ‘out’ yourself to friends or colleagues because of your other half. When you think you’re ready to tell people, then do. Most people will be far more accepting than you imagine, so try not to pre-judge people’s reactions. If your boyfriend really cares for you, he’ll accept that different people move and different paces; and he’ll wait for you to catch up, Love, Auntie Dote -----------------------------------------------
Dear Auntie Dote, My girlfriend is a devout Christian. We’ve been together for over three years, and I love her. However, (you could hear it coming, couldn’t you?) having just got to university and watched all those around me take their lead from the rabbits, I’m struggling with the situation. From, HornyGuy2000 (18)
Dear Do You Really Love Her,
If this arrangement is one you knew fully about from the start of your relationship, then you can’t really claim that she is being unfair. Do you love her? I once heard love described as caring more for the other person than yourself. If you do, then there is your answer. However, it is important to realise that you may no longer love her, even if you once did. Do not confuse the fear of hurting someone or of change with still being in love. Whatever you decide: tell her soon, so as to minimise the hurt.
Love, Auntie Dote
Dear Do You Really Love Her,
If this arrangement is one you knew fully about from the start of your relationship, then you can’t really claim that she is being unfair. Do you love her? I once heard love described as caring more for the other person than yourself. If you do, then there is your answer. However, it is important to realise that you may no longer love her, even if you once did. Do not confuse the fear of hurting someone or of change with still being in love. Whatever you decide: tell her soon, so as to minimise the hurt.
Love, Auntie Dote
Dear Do You Really Love Her, If this arrangement is one you knew fully about from the start of your relationship, then you can’t really claim that she is being unfair. Do you love her? I once heard love described as caring more for the other person than yourself. If you do, then there is your answer. However, it is important to realise that you may no longer love her, even if you once did. Do not confuse the fear of hurting someone or of change with still being in love. Whatever you decide: tell her soon, so as to minimise the hurt. Love, Auntie Dote